Be More Vulnerable; Power in Pain

Recently a series of things have crossed and intertwined and made me realise the weakness that I have let grow and fester inside me. Now I don't mean a weakness like my love of pizza or my serious obsession with hellmans vegan bacon mayo (put it on EVERYTHING, seriously!). I'm talking about something that might have traditionally been perceived as weakness but is actually a strength. I'm talking about vulnerability and the thing that has grown and festered inside me is the inability to be vulnerable.

Silverdeer BTS – Some Character Growth Thoughts

It's a truth, universally acknowledged that a first draft will be terrible. Even with world building, character development and solid voices in your head. First drafts are inevitably terrible and mine are no different. If anything mine are worse than average because the book plays like a movie in my head and movies use a very visual language to tell their stories. A lingering look between two characters in a movie can convey some strong emotions, in writing you have to use your words and I'm not going to lie that shit is hard. I'm much more visual, but lets face it, making movies - especially the ones we see in our heads is expensive and also (I imagine), like the Trad Pub world probably very hard to get a foot in the door. Writing your own book, being it's master and independently publishing it for people to read is, well, it's easier, it's cheaper and it's a release. Sending your idea out into the world rather than simply letting it build up in your head.

I Never Thought Fiction Could Hurt Me….

I know how that sounds, especially given the amount of times I've screamed "Noooooooo why must you hurt me like this...." at a piece of storytelling. What I'm talking about here isn't the absolute devastation of a character death or a piece of fiction killing you with feels as two characters fall in love. I'm talking about the kind of hurt that runs deep. The betrayal when a favourite piece of fiction disappoints.